What is a lifeku?

A lifeku is a haiku about daily life. For those who are unfamiliar with haiku, it is a form of Japanese poetry usually about nature, "profound," and formatted in 3 lines of 5 syllables, 7 syllables, and 5 syllables. Feel free to check out some famous haikus if you still don't get it.

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Wednesday, November 26

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Yesterday morning I saw a woman on the metro taking her kids to school. (This particular woman happened to be Asian, but that doesn't relate to anything of importance for our purposes, I'm just letting you know for Jerry's sake) She was, say, somewhere in the black age hole of 38-61 and sitting with her very young children on the folding seats. I say "the black hole of age" because that's where women seem to fall these days. Take myself: I could be anywhere from 26 to 42, with people frequently mistaking me for someone in my mid thirties [insert depressed sigh]. For the record, I'm actually only 26. This woman, however, was more impossible to judge on age than an ambiguous adult-teenager that may or may not be jail bait, because the skin on her face was pulled so tight that I don't think she could actually physically close her eyelids. At all. I also suspect that she has difficulty smiling as well, since her mouth was so pulled and puffed with collagen that she looked like Gina Gershon through a magnifying glass. The best part of all of this was that she had "chosen" not to wear "make-up," which meant the giant white brow lift scars on her eyelids where visible to all. Classy.

Tight Botox woman
No expression on your face
You look like a cat

6 Comments:

Katie said...

ppl these days cannot embrace aging gracefully...such a shame

Maureen said...

I think we know a couple of people that fall into this category...and we shall call them "The Cat People". Maybe there should be a community where they can all come together.

The Gerald said...

I think it's obvious that the lady is well into her 80s, as people of Asian decent always look 35-55 years younger than they really are. So, if she needed facial enhancements done to make her look young, then she must finally be showing signs of age, which tends to happen between 80-90 for Asians... I know what you're thinking," but Jerry, why don't you look like sperm? You're only 29." Well, for me, it's because I'm only 1/2 Asian, so I look more like 17 1/2 to 27 1/2 years younger.

Daughter said...

@Katie: True, I think the term "age gracefully" was abolished by the Association of Plastic Surgeons years ago...

@Maureen: I know like a hundred Cat People. I even know Hawk Eye people.

@Jerry: aren't you 30 yet?

The Gerald said...

I am not 30 yet, but thank you for asking...

Daughter said...

Are you sure? I could have sworn you were turning 31...