What is a lifeku?

A lifeku is a haiku about daily life. For those who are unfamiliar with haiku, it is a form of Japanese poetry usually about nature, "profound," and formatted in 3 lines of 5 syllables, 7 syllables, and 5 syllables. Feel free to check out some famous haikus if you still don't get it.

Comment. It'll make the popular kids like you.

Saturday, May 30

Street-side oddity
Use your seven-fingered hands
For carnival cash!

Friday, May 29

This lifeku is dedicated to the fact that I will be sans internet for at least 10 days as I leave crap internet provider in the dust to switch to SFR Neuf...

Orange Internet
Your service is a big joke
I hope you all die.

Thursday, May 28

Boy with chicken pox
I told you not to pick it
Now look what you’ve done

Wednesday, May 27: Reader Submission

This weeks reader submission comes from Nancy, wgo tells us about her debacle in The Dam:

When i recently arrived in Amsterdam for travel's sake, i needed to locate my hostel that i had quickly booked online; unbeknownst to me, my map led me into the red light district, where i found no street names. Being completely tired and unbothered, i stopped the first Dutch person i saw to ask them the name of the street we were on, so i could know if i was near the hostel. As soon as i said 'Excuse me..', a recieved a very awkward, rushed response as the man looked to the ground and shuffled away, saying 'No, thank you, thank you, i'm happily married'. Yes, he thought i was a prostitute. Hence these:

Hey, dirty old man
I just wanted the street name
Sorry, not for sale.

In a strange city
In need of some direction
No, I'm not a whore.

Tuesday, May 26

Angry sidewalk man
Your nonsensical yelling
Just makes you look nuts

Monday, May 25

I am a dog owner and lover, that is for sure. I love those big brown puppy eyes that gaze up at you with a sweet wagging tail. I love how my puppy (I call her that even though she's 5) gets so excited every time I come home that she almost pees herself, even if I've only been gone 5 minutes.

Yes, dogs really are our best friends... but do you want to know who are not our best friends?

I'll tell you: Dog owners who for some reason believe they are exempt from "the ramassing of the merde." What am I talking about? Pick up your poop for crying out loud. I do it, so can you, it's really not that bad. See, the plastic bag serves as the appropriate buffer between the poop matter and your actual hand, but some of you don't seem to understand this concept. Some of you believe it's okay to let your dog drop one in front of me while I am drinking coffee and then just leave it there as if it were some sort of treasured gift. Newsflash: it's not a treasured gift. At all. So just bend over and pick it up like the rest of us:

Woman with toy dog
You still have to pick it up
Even if it’s small

Sunday Poll: May 24

Think Fast: Pigeons