What is a lifeku?

A lifeku is a haiku about daily life. For those who are unfamiliar with haiku, it is a form of Japanese poetry usually about nature, "profound," and formatted in 3 lines of 5 syllables, 7 syllables, and 5 syllables. Feel free to check out some famous haikus if you still don't get it.

Comment. It'll make the popular kids like you.

Saturday, December 27

You, Clumsy Oaf Man
Can you watch where you’re going?

Friday, December 26

Tis the day after Christmas and all through the house not a creature is stirring, not even my mom getting up to raid the leftover cookie platter. The dirty dishes and ashtrays were hung by the chimney with care, in hopes that the cleaning lady soon would be there to mop up that accident I'd like to forget about. The parents were nestled all comatose in their beds, while visions of bad eggnog and yesterday's drunken relatives danced like nightmares in their pounding heads. And mamma still in her Christmas dress, and I in my cap, had just settled down over the toilet for a long winter's vomit followed by nap.

I think you are starting to get the point... this one goes out to every one of you who wishes you could hide your family in a deep dark closet and throw away the key, because sometimes we can't all just get along:

Why, family, why?
Must you insist on drinking
Till you Christmas hurl?

Calling All Lifekus

Starting today, the Daily Lifeku will be posting all of your holiday shenanigans in anticipation for the most alcohol filled holiday of the year: New Year's Eve. Or maybe Saint Patrick's Day... but we're not Irish and NYE '09 is way closer.

Send in your best holiday lifekus inspired by your crazy family, bad gifts, over-eating, over-drinking, forgotten gift giving, and embarrassment in general and we will post them in the coming days of Inter-Christmas-New-Year's. Email us at dailylifeku@gmail.com


Merry Commercial Gift Giving Day

A very happy holidays to everyone from The Daily Lifeku:

Old creepy uncle
Don’t make me sit on your lap
I’ll tell my parents

Cheapskate relative
Don't bother coming next year
Socks are not presents

Wednesday, December 24: Reader Submissions

Today's reader submission was sent in by Jiji, who tells you all about her crazy pets on her blog My Life in Trinidad and Tobago. She explains:

"We have a Parrot that is extremely unfriendly. We had her when she was almost still an egg and had to feed her in the middle of the night etc... NOW, she is big and stupid and bites and makes a lot of noise and doesn't want anyone to touch her (I have pix of her on my blog). So I made a Haiku about her...

Idiot Parrot
Why do you bite me up when
I am feeding you?

I'll cook her one of these days and tell my mum it's a malnourished Chicken."

Tuesday, December 23

Today I submit for your review yet another absurdly amusing but still kind of sad and very real Datepad.com message, sent in from a lovely reader from L.A. who wishes to remain anonymous in her dating debacles. For those of you who are not familiar with Datepad, it's not unlike Match or Meetic (in France) except that it sports the super awesome slogan "The Law of Attraction in Action." Sweet:

Hey there, what's up? Excuse my malapropos overture because I'm not yet "au courant" with the proper cyber protocol on how to approach girls....Nevertheless, It's impervious of my character not to take time out and adulate you on how beautiful I think you are. Besides, I'd really surmise that there's something terribly wrong with me or daftly suspicious if I didn't...CUZ OMG!! GODDAMN BABY CAKES YOU ARE ON FIREEE!! LOL, now I'm extremely confident that a lady of your caliber gets really tired of hearing that again and again. But I discern that "its not what you say, but how you say it". Furthermore, I can conjecture you probably have like a bajillion emails to read so I'll keep this "petit." If I've left anything out on my profile, please feel free to ask because any inquiry from you is welcome...LOL. Who knows, maybe we'll get the fortuity to confabulate some time? It's been a pleasure...
Happy Holidays

Where do I begin? The overuse of Franglais in the first sentence? Impervious of my character? Daftly Suspicious? "Conjecture" and "like" in the same sentence? I feel like I could go on for hours, but I won't. Fortuity to confabulate. Ok that was the last one.

Datepad.com Guy
Your message sounds like you just
Raped a thesaurus.

Monday, December 22

I often see things that I don't understand... like pregnant women who go shopping with 4 children and then expect you to feel sorry for them because they are pregnant and have four children. I mean, hello, I didn't tie you up and rape you then force you to carry my seed to term 4 times, so how on earth is your predicament my fault? But alas, I digress. Other things I frequently see that don't make sense include: people dressed as large stuffed animals on roller blades, naked teenagers when it's snowing outside, cross dressing soccer hooligans, 7 year old children who take the metro by themselves, and women who insist on wearing open toed shoes even though the current state of their feet display a clear relation to a hobbit.

Ogre feet lady
You should sand down those bunions
When wearing peeptoes

Sunday Poll: December 21

Think Fast: Airline Standby