What is a lifeku?

A lifeku is a haiku about daily life. For those who are unfamiliar with haiku, it is a form of Japanese poetry usually about nature, "profound," and formatted in 3 lines of 5 syllables, 7 syllables, and 5 syllables. Feel free to check out some famous haikus if you still don't get it.

Comment. It'll make the popular kids like you.

Saturday, January 31

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Have you ever been driving down the road only to have a Cadillac cut in front of you and slow down to 7 mph? You squint, looking closer, trying to identify this infuriating person in front of you, but all you see are two sets of knuckles on the wheel... and you know. You know that you are officially trapped behind a senior citizen, not unlike your grandmother, and you must wait there because nobody can make an old person do something they don't want to do. That's a fact. Look it up. If you honk or tailgate, you're a bully. Nobody wants to be deemed "old lady bully" like that kid who mugged Rosa Parks. Do you think he ever lived that down? I doubt it.

Old lady driving
See that pedal on the right?
Accelerator

Friday, January 30

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Sometimes, it's just better to not know the truth:

Your father was a
Registered sex offender
That’s why I left him

Thursday, January 29

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I'm sure that certain half-Korean people will think that this lifeku is aimed directly at them, but in fact it has nothing to do with anyone I know. I stumbled upon it by chance (we will discuss my stumbling problem at a later date) and almost peed my pants. You can check the article here.


Hardcore, I think not
Korean Special Warfare
Command. Gay, maybe?

Wednesday, January 28: Reader Submission

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Today's reader submission comes from Oralia in East Bay, California:

"I stumbled-upon the daily lifeku last night, and thank god. I work at a photography studio using photoshop all day, and I wrote 6 work inspired haikus throughout the day. Please enjoy my two favorites, and if you are a cs geek like me - I hope you especially appreciate them."

I know photoshop
I'll liquify your arm fat
You wont even know.

What's wrong with this brush
I need to mask out your bags
Opacity, Whoops.

Tuesday, January 27

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Sometimes, I don't even know what I'm talking about:

Fancy pants fat cat
Stop acting like a gangster
It’s not the 30’s

Monday, January 26

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I've spoken previously and candidly about my personal feelings on the subject of bad breath. In fact, I frequently discuss my feelings on this particular subject, because for some reason it seems like 80% of the population had a small animal die in their mouth last month and still haven't brushed their teeth:

Hey you, dragon breath
Please close your putrid mouth, it’s
Wilting my flowers

Sunday Poll: January 25

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Think Fast: Public Transportation