What is a lifeku?

A lifeku is a haiku about daily life. For those who are unfamiliar with haiku, it is a form of Japanese poetry usually about nature, "profound," and formatted in 3 lines of 5 syllables, 7 syllables, and 5 syllables. Feel free to check out some famous haikus if you still don't get it.

Comment. It'll make the popular kids like you.

Saturday, January 3

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Since I've been back in the States for the holiday shopping massacre and what not, I have noticed that the quantity of people have conversations with themselves is multiplying at an exponential rate. We've already discussed how stupid you look, and New Year's is the perfect time to make a change for the better:

Resolution 2
I will not talk so loudly
With my bluetooth on

Friday, January 2

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Welcome to 2009 everybody! For the first week of the new year, we here at the Daily Lifeku have put together some Daily Resolutions, obviously in haiku form.

Today's resolution starts off the week with a little recommendation for those of you who have seem to forgotten the lost art of bladder control. If you think that this only applies to 8 year olds and your weird mentally handicapped cousin you only see once a year, you would be very very wrong. Just in the month of December, I witnessed not one, but two pee-myself moments on the metro that had every person in the car shoving themselves against the edges:

Resolution 1
Next year I will not pee on
Myself in public

Happy 2009!!

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Happy New Year everybody! Let's begin 2009 with a very large bottle of water, and possibly some Gatorade and saltines from some... In honor of the most drunken night of the year, Maureen and I have put together a little trio of lifekus covering most possible New Year's situations. If we left out something that applies to you, write your own lifeku because we're hungover:



For those who didn't get any:


New Year's Eve Party
Alcohol-induced coma
I thought I'd get laid

For those who got some:

Where did you come from?
You looked much better last night
Stupid beer goggles

For those who don't remember:


The toilet's taken
So I decided to just
Puke in the shower

Wednesday, December 31: Reader Submission

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Yes, I know it's New Year's (and Maureen's birthday) but Wednesday is Reader Submission Day and that's just how it is... so a lifeku about crazy all night antics will be posted tomorrow, after some crazy all night antics. Today's reader submission comes from Bill Corvino, who, like me, pays attention to weird stuff people do on the train. He explains:

I saw a woman on the train mouthing the words as she was reading. I realized appearances can be deceiving in NY where most women look sophisticated:

Your mouth is moving
as you read Harry Potter.
Congratulations.



PS: For those of you who know Maureen personally, today is her birthday and you should call her. [hint hint]

Tuesday, December 30

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A couple of days after the holidays, some of the "living" gifts that you receive turn out to not be such great gifts, things such as Poinsettias (which, let's face it, don't work with all types of home decor), fruit cakes, which might as well be living, or the unforgivably forgettable gift: the cactus.

Ugly Christmas wreath
This is such a crappy gift
It smells like cat pee

Monday, December 29

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We called for Reader Submission: Holiday Edition and received the oh-so-lovely legend of the non-existent newspaper. That is to say, a newspaper was ordered from said date to said date, yet said newspaper fails to appear when the date arrives. When asked, Cheryl explained:

No tip for Christmas
I just didn't feel like it
Bah humbug, news boy

Sunday Poll: December 28

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The "gifts" I received for Xmas make me feel...