What is a lifeku?

A lifeku is a haiku about daily life. For those who are unfamiliar with haiku, it is a form of Japanese poetry usually about nature, "profound," and formatted in 3 lines of 5 syllables, 7 syllables, and 5 syllables. Feel free to check out some famous haikus if you still don't get it.

Comment. It'll make the popular kids like you.

Saturday, July 18

Greedy party man
You do not know how to share
Nobody likes you

Friday, July 17

Pedophile priest
You think your self-flogging
Makes it all better?

Thursday, July 16

I was feeling nostalgic, so I thought I'd bust out some 90's slang for today's lifeku. Anyone feeling in a particularly "It's the 90's" mood feel free to send your reader submissions for next week...

Sketchy lunch box guy
Could you be any weirder?
Stop wigging me out

Wednesday, July 15: Reader Submission

Today's reader submission comes from Noelle, who will now probably think twice before reaching out to touch somebody:

"A long time ago, I went to the beach with my grandparents. We went to a reptile zoo and I left them to go use the restroom. When I came out, I noticed my grandfather leaning against the railing, so I decided to surprise him with a sudden hug. After I'd successfully wrapped my skinny little arms around him, he turned around with a look of shock on his face, and that's when I realized something. I'd hugged a complete stranger who didn't even remotely look like my grandfather."

Random old stranger:
sorry for the weird hug, man.
I bet you liked it.

Tuesday, July 14


Too-Botoxed has-been
No revitalization
Voluminous face

Monday, July 13

Today's lifeku goes out to all of the ladies that I smell way too much on the morning metro:

Parisian Women
Lay off the Angel*
You all smell like barf

*please note that Angel is a perfume intended to smell like chocolate, but more closely resembles rotting stomach lining.