What is a lifeku?

A lifeku is a haiku about daily life. For those who are unfamiliar with haiku, it is a form of Japanese poetry usually about nature, "profound," and formatted in 3 lines of 5 syllables, 7 syllables, and 5 syllables. Feel free to check out some famous haikus if you still don't get it.

Comment. It'll make the popular kids like you.

Saturday, April 4

Pretentious lady
Take your nose out of the air
When you talk to me

Friday, April 3


This is a photo that I took the other day with my iPhone QuadCam (if you don't have this app, you really should) because I needed proof of the terrifying masked children that were haunting me in the metro. First they got on with me at Saint Paul Le Marais, which isn't that strange except for the fact that they followed me all the way to Lamark Caulaincourt, which for anyone who knows the Paris metro, is about 30 minutes with a directional line change on the 12 at the Concorde.

When we were waiting for the elevator (this particular station is in the bottom of Montmartre, which is like the San Francisco of Paris, so if you don't take the elevator you have to walk up like 40 flights of steps to get to street level) I half expected them to bust out tiny little knives and go for my Achilles Gage-style from Pet Sematary. I mean, seriously, look in the 4th photo the way that little girl is taunting me... leaning in my direction like she's about to jump out and start eatting my fingers as if they were chicken nuggets. I've got goose-bumps just thinking about it....

Echoing giggle
Ring around the rosie, no!
Tiny hands of death

Thursday, April 2

Woman on diet
Exhibit some self control
Stop. Don’t break the seal

Wednesday, April 1: Reader Submission

Today's reader submission comes from "Anonymous".... an Anonymous who clearly resides in the DC Metro area:

Hey, Georgetown a-hole
Your sneer is eclipsed by that
Lame pink popped collar

PS: For those of you not familiar with Georgetown, I have provided this handy and informative photo of The Exorcist stairs

Tuesday, March 31

I recently experienced a delay in my regular Nespresso delivery... this meant that I hate wake up without the fresh, delightful morning odor that I had become so very accustomed to. Instead, I lagged my heavy body around the kitchen until I found some [shudder] instant cappuccino to which I added [shudders again] instant coffee for a creation vaguely resembling a decent cup of coffee. Vaguely, but not really...

No coffee morning
Minimum brain wave function
Eyelids made of lead

Monday, March 30

Hello. How are you? I'm doing well, thanks. I'm going to need you to watch this super awesome video that I stumbled upon immediately. Yes, immediately, as in RIGHT NOW. It is full of information that you simply cannot live without.

Wasn't that amazing? Don't you feel as though someone turned a light on in the pit of darkness in which we've been living? Duh. Lies. [scoffs at science to self] First of all, I'd like to know who taught this man to speak, because that was a mistake. I'm going to assume it was his mother, who was also apparently responsible for teaching him biology... which we just saw did not turn out so well. And I thought public schools in the States were bad... Regardless of whoever taught him evangelical gibberish in place of the laws of physics, this man sounds so freaking retarded that I almost feel sorry for him. "Explosions kill people." [sigh]

Good job home-schooling
Dang fancy telescopes duh
So-called gravity

Sunday Poll: March 29

My mother...