Friday, January 9

It's time to wrap up our resolution extravaganza with one final goodbye. We present to you, Resolution 6. We would have done a 7, but everyone knows that, like God, The Daily Lifeku rests on the seventh day.

Sometimes you guys start to get really comfortable at our parents' house. Like extra special super duper comfortable and your inner "manly man" starts to seep out as each layer of Degree dissolves from your sweaty pit. The following are NOT acceptable at our parents' house: entering kitchen with pants not fully closed, entering kitchen without proper butt covering for that matter, leaving bite marks in "common foods" such as cheese, drinking out of the carton, "displaying" your dirty sweat socks by laying them out on the hardwood floor, or showing my mom how loud you can belch.

Resolution 6
Will not act like homeless bum
At mother-in-laws

Thursday, January 8

Today's relifesolutionku goes out to my boys at Post Rejects, the funniest blog on the web besides this one. Seriously, if you don't read Post Rejects, you should. Immediately.

Resolution 5
I will not masterbate to
Those damn hot puffins

Tuesday, January 6

For those of you turning 18 this year, the freedom is so close you can almost taste it. For those of you turning 30 and up, you are facing the unpleasant realization that it's time to go out into that great wide open and finally take care of yourself, you lazy slacker. In fact, your parents told me that you have until the end of this week to get your crap out so they can turn the basement room into that home gym they've always wanted:

Resolution 4
I will leave my parents house
Emancipation

Monday, January 5

Resolutions continue! Let's start off the week with a deep clean feeling, that inner freshness that can only come from knowing he took his Valtrex:

Resolution 3
Procrastinate no longer
Take care of herpes

Sunday Poll: January 4

Think Fast: My New Year's Resolutions...

Saturday, January 3

Since I've been back in the States for the holiday shopping massacre and what not, I have noticed that the quantity of people have conversations with themselves is multiplying at an exponential rate. We've already discussed how stupid you look, and New Year's is the perfect time to make a change for the better:

Resolution 2
I will not talk so loudly
With my bluetooth on

Friday, January 2

Welcome to 2009 everybody! For the first week of the new year, we here at the Daily Lifeku have put together some Daily Resolutions, obviously in haiku form.

Today's resolution starts off the week with a little recommendation for those of you who have seem to forgotten the lost art of bladder control. If you think that this only applies to 8 year olds and your weird mentally handicapped cousin you only see once a year, you would be very very wrong. Just in the month of December, I witnessed not one, but two pee-myself moments on the metro that had every person in the car shoving themselves against the edges:

Resolution 1
Next year I will not pee on
Myself in public