What is a lifeku?

A lifeku is a haiku about daily life. For those who are unfamiliar with haiku, it is a form of Japanese poetry usually about nature, "profound," and formatted in 3 lines of 5 syllables, 7 syllables, and 5 syllables. Feel free to check out some famous haikus if you still don't get it.

Comment. It'll make the popular kids like you.

Saturday, March 28

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***Today is the mother of Daughter's birthday. In my neck of the woods we call her "Moomie." Don't ask. So Happy Birthday Moomie!

In honor of Moomie's birthday, I decided to write a haiku about my personal feelings on canned tuna fish, or "chicken of the sea." If you don't get it, don't worry, she will.


Dear canned tuna fish
You are so rank and nasty
Keep away from me

Friday, March 27

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I'm sure you've all heard the interesting story of the Siberian woman who invited her friend out for a lovely evening, only to finish it by killing and eating her:

You thought we were friends
Girls night out really ends with
Cannibalism

Thursday, March 26

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I recently celebrated my birthday, and found that after 4:00 am my friends actually turned the music back up after I would turn it down. This is not acceptable.

Loud party goers
My house is not a night club
Pump down the volume

Wednesday, March 25: Reader Submission

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This week's reader submission comes from Tara, who totally has a right to complain about overuse of air conditioning... even though I live in France so I don't know what that is anymore.

"I’ve been inspired by my freezing cold office building to write a few lifekus. I don’t know why the facilities people feel the need to blast the air conditioning when its 55 degrees outside…"


Dog gone management
Why must you blast the A.C.?
Hypothermia

Can’t feel my fingers
Thanks for keeping me alive
Awesome space heater

Tuesday, March 24

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Sometimes, as women, we face difficult situations... like when your girlfriends are significantly hotter than your guy friends, but your guy friends haven't quite registered that fact and still think they have a shot at some action. Luckily, I have prepared a lifeku for moments such as these:

Drunk guy-friend of mine
You get no love from my girl
Stop hitting on her

Monday, March 23

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Anyone who's anyone knows that a new cycle of America's Next Top Model has begun. Or maybe I should say that anyone who knows me knows that ANTM is my ultimate guilty pleasure - I can't miss an episode, get strangely emotionally involved, and become totally obsessed. This is the 12th year in a row. The best part is, I have no shame about it... abslutely zero. I read 5 books a month (and not by authors like John Grisham), speak another language, and do grammar exercises for fun, so I definitely deserve to enjoy watching girls cat-fight it out for a modeling career that we all know will never go past My Year As A Cover Girl. If you have ever actually watched ANTM, then you would know that it's the 40 most entertaining minutes of your life ever, filled with tears, traumatizing make-overs, and dream crushing goodness.... So in honor of my not-so-shameful love for Tyra:

ANTM girls
Who’s gonna cry first this time?
Oh no, not my hair

Sunday Poll: March 22

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Life without internet...