What is a lifeku?

A lifeku is a haiku about daily life. For those who are unfamiliar with haiku, it is a form of Japanese poetry usually about nature, "profound," and formatted in 3 lines of 5 syllables, 7 syllables, and 5 syllables. Feel free to check out some famous haikus if you still don't get it.

Comment. It'll make the popular kids like you.

Saturday, October 25

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Weird depressed roommate
Will you put on pants today?
You smell pretty ripe

Friday, October 24

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You know what I hate? Guys who cry about stuff. That's right, I said it. I was once with a guy who cried all of the time over the stupidest crap you could ever imagine. This only cemented my hatred of pity party crybabies, which bring us to:

Uh oh pussy pants
Why don't you cry about it
You throw like a girl

Thursday, October 23

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I hate mumbling almost as much as I hate super gross limp handshakes [shudder]. But seriously, how hard is it to pronounce your words when you speak?

Monotone mumbles
Nobody understands you
Enunciation

Wednesday, October 22

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Before I moved to Paris, land of discretion, I spent 4 years living in Brooklyn, land of whatever the opposite of discreet is. Today's lifeku is thanks to many sleepless nights of ghetto ass screaming and a particularly eerie ice cream truck that always passed at exactly 4:30 am, with the music playing mind you. I mean who eats ice cream at 4 in the morning? In January? Whatever. Here's the lifeku:

Girl yelling outside
He's not your baby's daddy
You're making a scene

Tuesday, October 21

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Single ladies everywhere, you know where I'm coming from. That cute guy from the club would actually really dig it if you would toss his salad while he wears your panties. You nod and smile; thinking that if you can just make it to the kitchen, you can get the hell out of there before he ever knows what happened:

Weird fantasy guy
There’s no way I’m wearing that
Get out of my house

Monday, October 20

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Overgrown nose hair
Crawling out of your nostrils
Electric trimmer...