What is a lifeku?

A lifeku is a haiku about daily life. For those who are unfamiliar with haiku, it is a form of Japanese poetry usually about nature, "profound," and formatted in 3 lines of 5 syllables, 7 syllables, and 5 syllables. Feel free to check out some famous haikus if you still don't get it.

Comment. It'll make the popular kids like you.

Saturday, January 10

Today's lifeku was inspired by myself as an adolescent, my friends as adolescents, adolescents in general, and basically every adolescent I have ever known. From that time when it's embarrassing if your parents speak, no one understands you, everyone is ruining your life, and of course my personal favorite, your life is over. Why don't you just go slam the door to your room and cry about it?

Teenage communication
Like cool, whatever

Friday, January 9

It's time to wrap up our resolution extravaganza with one final goodbye. We present to you, Resolution 6. We would have done a 7, but everyone knows that, like God, The Daily Lifeku rests on the seventh day.

Sometimes you guys start to get really comfortable at our parents' house. Like extra special super duper comfortable and your inner "manly man" starts to seep out as each layer of Degree dissolves from your sweaty pit. The following are NOT acceptable at our parents' house: entering kitchen with pants not fully closed, entering kitchen without proper butt covering for that matter, leaving bite marks in "common foods" such as cheese, drinking out of the carton, "displaying" your dirty sweat socks by laying them out on the hardwood floor, or showing my mom how loud you can belch.

Resolution 6
Will not act like homeless bum
At mother-in-laws

Thursday, January 8

Today's relifesolutionku goes out to my boys at Post Rejects, the funniest blog on the web besides this one. Seriously, if you don't read Post Rejects, you should. Immediately.

Resolution 5
I will not masterbate to
Those damn hot puffins

Wednesday, January 7: Reader Submissions

Today is Wednesday, also known as Reader Submission Day, also known as I Don't Have To Do Anything Day. In case you didn't know, The Daily Lifeku has a super cool Facebook Group and only people who suck don't join, and in this cool Facebook Group there is an even cooler Daily Lifeku Facebook Wall, where also only people who suck don't post. I have gathered some of the reader posts from This Wall to create the Ultimate Reader Submission Medley. Let's get it on:

From Matt:

Stupid little man
Wearing your pants at your chest
With suspenders, really?

From Javier:

Another year ends
And another year begins

From Maurice:

First friday 0-9...
Trying to hit Guarapos...
Get my Salsa on...

From Barry:

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Only perfect spellers may
enter the system

Tuesday, January 6

For those of you turning 18 this year, the freedom is so close you can almost taste it. For those of you turning 30 and up, you are facing the unpleasant realization that it's time to go out into that great wide open and finally take care of yourself, you lazy slacker. In fact, your parents told me that you have until the end of this week to get your crap out so they can turn the basement room into that home gym they've always wanted:

Resolution 4
I will leave my parents house

Monday, January 5

Resolutions continue! Let's start off the week with a deep clean feeling, that inner freshness that can only come from knowing he took his Valtrex:

Resolution 3
Procrastinate no longer
Take care of herpes

Sunday Poll: January 4