What is a lifeku?

A lifeku is a haiku about daily life. For those who are unfamiliar with haiku, it is a form of Japanese poetry usually about nature, "profound," and formatted in 3 lines of 5 syllables, 7 syllables, and 5 syllables. Feel free to check out some famous haikus if you still don't get it.

Comment. It'll make the popular kids like you.

Famous Real Haikus

If the concept of the lifeku is totally lost on you, perhaps you should have a look at these haikus from famous Japanese poets.Keep in mind that they do have the correct number of syllables, in Japanese. I personally can't read them without laughing:

Basho Matsuo:

The old pond;
A frog jumps in -
The sound of the water.

Natsume Soseki:

Over the wintry
forest, winds howl in rage
with no leaves to blow.

Kobayashi Issa:

A sign of blessing
The snow on the quilt
From the Pure Land

Friday, October 3

The following is an ACTUAL MESSAGE received by a woman on Match.com. The sender of the following message mysteriously deleted his profile before she could tell him that he basically seemed mentally handicapped.

"hello Im Jaime I have 38 years old , I have 2 children do not live with me I work in costco department dely,Ilive in front royal I look for a good woman whom it respects and it wants to go out ahead and like the children if these interested write"

Now it's time for the Lifeku you knew was coming:

Jaime the retard
Front Royal Costco dely?
You should kill yourself

Thursday, October 2


Neighbor, I hate you
Why are your flowers dying?
Yes, I peed on them.

Wednesday, October 1

Don't you ever want
To just vomit on someone
Right in mid-sentence?

Tuesday, September 30

Sometimes, lifekus really don't need introductions. This is one of those times:

I didn’t ask you
For your lame opinion
Stop talking to me

Monday, September 29

It's time to present my first two part Lifeku, inspired by singles in a technology driven modern world:

Match.com stalker
Refrain from contacting me
We have never met

Won’t leave me alone
You should have hid your email
Newsletter signup

Sunday, September 28, Part 2


Boyfriend, drunk and loud
Comes home with wasted friends, late
Will sleep on sofa

Sunday, September 28

Online pharmacy
I need not your Viagra
Let my inbox go