What is a lifeku?

A lifeku is a haiku about daily life. For those who are unfamiliar with haiku, it is a form of Japanese poetry usually about nature, "profound," and formatted in 3 lines of 5 syllables, 7 syllables, and 5 syllables. Feel free to check out some famous haikus if you still don't get it.

Comment. It'll make the popular kids like you.

Wednesday, December 17: Reader Submission

Today' we have a special treat, namely 2 reader submissions! The first comes from the lovely Megan, who is frequently accosted in public places:

Strange man in the bar
Your pick up line does not work
Get out of my face

Lifeku #2 comes from "Anonymous" with the delightful email address of "wouldntyouliketoknow@yahoo.com." For the sake of things, we'll just call him Gunther. Gunther apparently had a problem with my inadequacy lifeku probably stemming from the extremely high levels of truth. Gunther's frustration with the fact that he can't get it up has provoked him to reveal a little universal truth of his own:

Remember last night
I said you didn't look fat
In that dress? I lied.


Anonymous said...

And the reason I don't use pick-up lines is because of this line that I heard a few years back while out with some friends, "so...where'd you go to school? Oh, Virginia Tech? Nice. Were you the homecoming queen? Well, you shoulda been..." What?! What the hell was that. It made me ashamed to be a man just for a brief moment. Let's hear some of the grandest pick-up lines, ladies.

Daughter said...

Guys should never use pick-up lines, pick-up lines are lame. If you like a girl and want to talk to her, just go talk to her you bunch of pussies. Say things like, "How are you? My name is blah blah blah." It's really not that hard.

Anonymous said...

"Girl, you are so sweet, I want to spread you on my toast and eat you up."

No, seriously, I got that one.

Anonymous said...

You mean, "Girl you are so sweet, I want to spread you on my toast like tomato jelly and eat you up."

Daughter said...

"Spread you on my toast"? Eww that's gross.

My favorite "pick-up line moment" was that guy who followed me out of the metro for like 2 miles to ask me out to dinner and I felt bad so I told him I had a boyfriend (which wasn't true.)

Then he ended up coming to the American bar (across the river, totally far away) and was all, "Where's your boyfriend? I don't think you have a boyfriend. I think you're a liar." When I told him that I had, in fact, lied, he looked at me totally serious and said, "What? Don't you find me attractive?"

Um obviously not, if I lied you idiot.

Daughter said...

Enough with the tomato jelly nastiness.

Anonymous said...

Obviously NOT tomato jelly, Gerald. More like sweet sweet nectar from the Gods.

simplysteph said...

Agreed with daughter. unless you want to be the dumb ass we talk about to our friends, just go up to her and talk to her as you would anyone else. craziest pick up line was at work, I'm in the cable department and I had this guy ask "is there any way you can get me installed into you". I threw up in my mouth. Wasn't pleasant.