What is a lifeku?

A lifeku is a haiku about daily life. For those who are unfamiliar with haiku, it is a form of Japanese poetry usually about nature, "profound," and formatted in 3 lines of 5 syllables, 7 syllables, and 5 syllables. Feel free to check out some famous haikus if you still don't get it.

Comment. It'll make the popular kids like you.

Friday, October 3

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The following is an ACTUAL MESSAGE received by a woman on Match.com. The sender of the following message mysteriously deleted his profile before she could tell him that he basically seemed mentally handicapped.

"hello Im Jaime I have 38 years old , I have 2 children do not live with me I work in costco department dely,Ilive in front royal I look for a good woman whom it respects and it wants to go out ahead and like the children if these interested write"

Now it's time for the Lifeku you knew was coming:

Jaime the retard
Front Royal Costco dely?
You should kill yourself

6 Comments:

Maureen said...

If I worked at the Dely, I would kill myself too.

Daughter said...

Would you also kut meet?

The Gerald said...

That was probably the funniest f-ing thing I have ever heard in my long, eventful, ninjastic life!! That's it, I'm done. Fuck you, fuck you, you're cool, fuck you, I'm out! Nothing will ever top this post, so I'm done.

The Gerald
circa 2008

Daughter said...

Why do you have to yell at me when I'm on the friar B?

The Gerald said...

No, I'm Cuban, B!

Daughter said...

The doctor said I need a backiotomy