Monday, February 23

I was yet again stumbling my youth away the other day when I came across this incredibly bizarre, creepy, and downright disturbing story of a wife who found a way to hold on to her husband FOREVER. She commissioned the most frighteningly stalkerish statue ever for his tombstone so that she could desperately cling to him for the rest of eternity. Talk about attached. You can see the other photos and read about it here. If that isn't unhealthy, I don't think I know what it...



Co-dependency
If you ever try to leave
I will be your grave.

Sunday Poll: February 15

I spent this Valentine's Day...

Valentine's Day Haiku Grande Finale

Maureen and I had originally prepared some lifekus for the Valentine's Day Grande Finale, which would obviously be today, but then I yet again stumbled across the most awesome story for V-Day that could have ever existed. Let's examine the curious case, not of Benjamin Button (also known as Forrest Gump for those who have seen the movie), but of starcrossed lovers Dominique Fisher and Wayne Robinson. A tale of drinking, vodka, valium, one night stands, and pure craziness... "Why, what happened?" you may ask. Fear not, I will tell you:

Wayne Robinson is a regular English guy who drinks too much and was trying to get laid. Dominique Fisher was a moderately attractive, moderately sane looking woman on whom he had set his sights for the night. Whoa, big mistake. After an evening of alcohol binging, which included some valium tablets and forgotten sex, one Wayne Robinson awoke in the bed of one Dominique Fisher to find that she had CARVED HER NAME INTO HIS ARM while he slept in a drunken stupor. I am not making this up. Seriously, you can read about it here. She also carved a star into his back and some slashes all over his arms, because she's just crazy creative like that.

Here, have a look:Wow, that's romantic and delicious, isn't it? What's the moral of the story here, folks? I believe I'll sum it up in three simple lines:

Valentine's Warning:
When having casual sex
Don't have drunk black out

and of course, Part II:

Alcoholic sleep
I didn't feel anything
Dominique for life

Valentine's Day Haiku Extravaganza '09: Day 3

Often times we “present” the version of ourselves that we think the opposite sex will find most attractive. The problem with this is that it’s extremely difficult to keep the act going once you start spending a certain amount of time with a person. Have you ever made a shocking or uber gross discovery about the one you were making the makey with? Yes, making the makey.

At first I was blind
How could I not have noticed?
That you pick your nose

Valentine's Day Haiku Extravaganza '09: Day 2

Sometimes, in a loving relationship, your partner can push your buttons so easily that you just want to smash a beer bottle over his or her head. Today’s lifeku is for these special moments:

Say that one more time
You think you’re so damn clever
No sex for a month

Valentine's Day Haiku Extravaganza '09: Day 1

In honor of the most hated Hallmark holiday, we here at The Daily Lifeku are kicking off a week long extravaganza dedicated to Valentine's Day debacles and retarded love. Today’s lifeku goes out to everyone who thought they had found “the one” only to find out two or three months later that “the one” was in fact a total “nut job.”

You were perfection
Then you wore my underwear
Super crazy guy