Monday, May 18

Unwelcome squatter
I smell you from the hallway
Please leave my building

Tuesday, January 20

This one summer there were these homeless guys (they were actually more like squatters) who had started hanging around my neighborhood. I saw them with their dogs frequently and paid little attention since I live in an urban environment and am thus completely numb to homelessness... but one day... I came out of my building, it was a Saturday in June so the streets were packed like Times Square, and started walking towards the bakery. When I had gotten to the church (half way to the bakery), I was suddenly startled by a plastic cup flinging around in my face. Upon further inspection, I realized that the plastic cup had a dollar sign on it (why it wasn't Euros I'll never know) which was attached to a fishing pole, which was being held by the squatters who were standing on the church steps. As in they were fishing for handouts. Panhandle fishing. Or something. I thought it was so funny that I decided to give them a Euro. A for effort, I always say.

I sometimes give cash
To homeless people with real
Creativity

Thursday, December 18

There's two homeless women that have lived in my neighborhood since I moved here. I suppose "live" isn't the best word, it's more like they "squat" in front of the BNP (a bank) on Mondays, Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays and in front of the dry cleaner across the street on Wednesdays, Saturdays, and Sundays. These two women have more stuff than any homeless people I have ever seen and can often be seen clutching their bags for dear life as they shoot you dirty looks when you walk by. The interesting part is that within their plethora of plastic bags, there is some useful crap like old clothes and shoes, but they both actively choose to remain barefoot and sleeveless even in January. Sometimes they squat across from each other, one at the bank and one at the dry cleaners, and yell crazies back and forth across the street, chucking the occasional aluminum can at pedestrians that interrupt them.

Hey crazy lady
Talk to yourself a little more
You’re barefoot, you know

Thursday, December 4

Anyone who lives in a real city probably has their homeless "regulars." These are the homeless people that can always be found in the same place in your neighborhood, except for brief bouts where they disappear and you wonder if they died (you know it's true.) I had 2 regulars that "lived" downstairs from my old apartment in Brooklyn; we dubbed them "Crutch" (he only had one leg) and Snooze (he was always sleeping). In retrospect Snooze could have more appropriately been called "Smells Like Toilet" but I didn't think of that right away. Here in Paris, I have many regulars, including one I really like who talks to everyone with a lion puppet... At least he's providing some sort of entertainment. There was Sleepy McSleeperson, who was often but not always sleeping but regardless always looked really sleepy. There was Drunky McDrunkerson, who once threw a beer can at me and tried to spit on Maureen and was always on a state of constant angry slurring. I didn't like him so much. Then there's "The Crew" which consists of 5 guys, 7 dogs, and a battery powered radio who squat on the corner near the Franprix... Today's lifeku was inspired by my regulars:

Crazy homeless girl
You’re not holding your baby
It’s a dead pigeon

Wednesday, November 19

I have recently stopped listening to music in the metro and taken up reading a book so that I can be more "aware" of what's going on around me, like the creepy dude in the corner whispering vulgarities in my direction. Before, I just didn't hear him, whereas now, I consciously ignore him. It's totally different, I assure you.

Homeless man in the
Metro, playing with yourself
Back away from me

Poll: Homeless people usually

Sunday, September 21

Homeless guy in front
Of my house, you smell like pee
Here take twenty cents