Saturday, June 20

As I am visiting Moomie, I have internet access for a few days and thought I would provide you with a couple lifekus to keep you going. If I knew when I would have internet, I wouldn't be living in France... so as far as "the return" is concerned, I can make no promises... but in the meantime, this goes out to all of you providing too much information:

Yes, you just farted
I didn't need to know that
Keep it to yourself

Friday, March 13

Public bathroom guy
Maybe you should have waited...
We all just heard you

Wednesday, March 11: Reader Submission

This week's reader submission comes from Fern, who tells us about the creative and resourceful methods her brother used to torture her growing up:

Dear older brother
Please stop farting in my mouth
Humiliation

Tuesday, March 10

Non-sharing roommate
You took so long on the can
I went on your bed

Tuesday, February 17

Sometimes in the morning rush of the metro, when my body merges with what I like to call "The Human Cube," I go to my special place, my happy place. I just close my eyes and pretend I don't have 4 other people pressed up against me and one of them didn't brush their teeth. I normally look up towards the ceiling, because as French people are short, that is where there is the most air. Some of these times in the morning, I am wrenched out of my safe and happy place by an unsettling noise followed by a violently rotten odor. In these situations, everybody puts on their Not Guilty Face and begins to glance around in failed attempts to find the culprit. Except for sometimes, it's so obviously one person that you can't stop giggling to yourself while at the same time covering your face with your pashmina as to avoid suffocating:


Not so stealthy guy
I totally just heard you
Let a fat one rip

Friday, January 23

Sometimes people assume that these haikus are about me. They're not, they're about life in general, hence the name "life-ku." Actually, sometimes I totally write them about you. Yes, you.

How would you like it
If I told them all about
Your incontinence

Friday, January 2

Welcome to 2009 everybody! For the first week of the new year, we here at the Daily Lifeku have put together some Daily Resolutions, obviously in haiku form.

Today's resolution starts off the week with a little recommendation for those of you who have seem to forgotten the lost art of bladder control. If you think that this only applies to 8 year olds and your weird mentally handicapped cousin you only see once a year, you would be very very wrong. Just in the month of December, I witnessed not one, but two pee-myself moments on the metro that had every person in the car shoving themselves against the edges:

Resolution 1
Next year I will not pee on
Myself in public