Famous Real Haikus

If the concept of the lifeku is totally lost on you, perhaps you should have a look at these haikus from famous Japanese poets.Keep in mind that they do have the correct number of syllables, in Japanese. I personally can't read them without laughing:

Basho Matsuo:

The old pond;
A frog jumps in -
The sound of the water.

Natsume Soseki:

Over the wintry
forest, winds howl in rage
with no leaves to blow.

Kobayashi Issa:

A sign of blessing
The snow on the quilt
From the Pure Land

Friday, October 3

The following is an ACTUAL MESSAGE received by a woman on Match.com. The sender of the following message mysteriously deleted his profile before she could tell him that he basically seemed mentally handicapped.

"hello Im Jaime I have 38 years old , I have 2 children do not live with me I work in costco department dely,Ilive in front royal I look for a good woman whom it respects and it wants to go out ahead and like the children if these interested write"

Now it's time for the Lifeku you knew was coming:

Jaime the retard
Front Royal Costco dely?
You should kill yourself

Thursday, October 2

Neighbor, I hate you
Why are your flowers dying?
Yes, I peed on them.

Wednesday, October 1

Don't you ever want
To just vomit on someone
Right in mid-sentence?

Tuesday, September 30

Sometimes, lifekus really don't need introductions. This is one of those times:

I didn’t ask you
For your lame opinion
Stop talking to me

Monday, September 29

It's time to present my first two part Lifeku, inspired by singles in a technology driven modern world:

Match.com stalker
Refrain from contacting me
We have never met

Won’t leave me alone
You should have hid your email
Newsletter signup

Sunday, September 28, Part 2

Boyfriend, drunk and loud
Comes home with wasted friends, late
Will sleep on sofa

Sunday, September 28

Online pharmacy
I need not your Viagra
Let my inbox go