Friday, July 24

Suburbanite chick
Your Lexus is in my space
Can you pick a lane??

Wednesday, May 6

Today's reader submission comes from Buzz, a loyal lifekuer with a special love for syllables. I think you will all find he speaks the Truth:

Dude with the new wheels
We are all truly impressed
Learn to drive a-hole

Challenges surround
Pissed off and low on patience
What would Cheryl do?

Wednesday, April 22: Reader Submission

Today's reader submission comes from Liza, who has something to say to all of you inconsistent highway drivers out there:

"To the people who have no idea how to keep a consistent speed on the highway: "

Annoying driver
stop playing car tag with me
cruise control, use it.

Tuesday, April 21

I was stumbling my life away, as usual, when I came across this interesting story of a Norweigan- highway-sex-crash, which seems rather adventurous... but then again I suppose there's not that much to do in Norway in winter without freezing your face off, so people probably need to create some action for themselves.

Salmon is boring
Dangerous Norwegian sex
Full frontal impact

Sunday Poll: February 1

Driving makes me feel...

Saturday, January 31

Have you ever been driving down the road only to have a Cadillac cut in front of you and slow down to 7 mph? You squint, looking closer, trying to identify this infuriating person in front of you, but all you see are two sets of knuckles on the wheel... and you know. You know that you are officially trapped behind a senior citizen, not unlike your grandmother, and you must wait there because nobody can make an old person do something they don't want to do. That's a fact. Look it up. If you honk or tailgate, you're a bully. Nobody wants to be deemed "old lady bully" like that kid who mugged Rosa Parks. Do you think he ever lived that down? I doubt it.

Old lady driving
See that pedal on the right?
Accelerator

Tuesday, December 9

Today's lifeku has nothing to do with Paris, but instead concerns driving in the States. Before I moved to France, I grew up in DC and spent four years living in Brooklyn which means I had my share of road rage moments. Now I take the metro everywhere and no longer have to deal with idiots tail gaiting me for 20 minutes because I didn't see them when I merged, but I do get a fresh dose of murderous hysteria whenever I talk to Maureen on the phone. Our conversations go something like this:

D: "Hey, what's up?"

M: "Nothing, just running some stupid errands. What are you doing?"

D: "Not much, eating chocolate... wasting my life away on Stumble Upon."

M: "I know, Stumble Upon is so - HEY YOU IDIOT GET THE F*** OUT OF MY WAY JEEZE!"

D: "Huh?"

M: "Sorry about that, people are so retarded. I SAID NO I AM NOT LETTING YOU TURN LEFT!!!! IF YOU WANTED TO TURN LEFT YOU SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN INTO THE LEFT TURN LANE YOU JACKASS!!"

D: "Are you at Tysons Corner?"

M: "Route 7" [10 second horn honk] "NO, NO, F*** YOU I HAVE THE RIGHT OF WAY!"

D: "Road rage much?"

M: "I know, but it's not my fault that everyone is stup--- [interruped by extremely long horn honk]"

and the conversation continues in that matter for a few minutes until I get tired of hearing Maureen's "angry voice" and I hang up the phone so she can yell. This one is dedicated to my Twin Flame and the person she hates the most on on the road:

Car blocking the box
I’m imagining your death
You selfish ass wipe

Wednesday, October 15

Family sedan
With all the bumper stickers
Your kids are ugly

Tuesday, October 7

Teenage girl driving
Stop putting on your lip gloss
Before you kill me

Monday, October 6

Slow Volvo waiting
Could you move any slower?
The light is green now